Increased earning power, self-confidence, and feelings of independence among forty-something women mean they are less concerned about relationships with men.

The research, among more than 7,000 women, comes after official figures showed marriage rates at an eight-year low, with many women choosing cohabition or the single life.

Michael Noer wrote in the US business bible Forbes magazine last month that marrying a "career woman", presumably one in her mid-thirties or early forties, was a sure route to misery and divorce, sparking a storm of protest that he was "bloodboilingly misogynistic".

Along with financial clout, they make major decisions such as choosing where to invest, which school or college is best and which car to buy. While women make only 52 per cent of all new car purchases themselves, they influence 85 per cent of them.

Rita Clifton, the chairman of the global brand consultancy Interbrand, said: "There has been a radical change over the last 10 years. Women over 40 have money, power, they don't look like their mothers any more.

"Madonna, and [the actresses] Kristin Scott Thomas and Rene Russo are regarded as female icons. Women with children early in life have a 'second coming' in their forties. They blossom.

Richard Morris, of DDB London, the advertising agency, said many products, such as TV sports channels, were sold to men, but it was women who decided whether they should have them.

"Until the women say yes to allowing them into the home, men don't get to make the choice of supplier or package. This effect has been dubbed 'the female handbrake', and the holy grail is to find ways of lifting it."

Nearly 40 per cent of the women surveyed said they would pay the deposit for their child's first home, 32 per cent would pay off their debts and 26 per cent would have their children and grandchildren live with them long-term.

They are most concerned about drugs, violence and their children getting into financial difficulty but are also worried that their young adult children will choose an unsuitable partner.

Confidence and independence means that splitting up with their partner ranks lower in their concerns with only one in 10 citing this as a major worry.

A fifth of the women surveyed were single, divorced, separated or widowed. Finding a man was considered hard work - 39 per cent did not meet many men while nearly a third said those they met were "not up to scratch".

When they were consulted about their looks, nearly two thirds thought they looked younger than their age. More than half stated that they get the same attention from men now as they did when they were younger.

Sue James, the editor of Woman & Home, said: "It is attitude and not age that represents the new generation of 40-plus women - a confident, independent spirit, plus having their own money to spend on what they want."

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